But, why?
Sitting in suffering and the question I’ve decided to ask instead.
By Shannan Rose Murray - September 27, 2024
D
earest Reader,
Earlier this week I wrote this in my journal:
This week has been hard. I think there’s a lot of moving pieces and changes in my life and body that I don’t understand that are requiring a lot of me. I haven’t been feeling the best overall with my health which hasn’t helped anything and has made everything more difficult. Stress in my body and my mind seems to be my constant companion lately and I’m not connecting with Christ as easily as I used to. I feel far from God and feel guilty every time I ask Him “why?” Why these things are happening to me and why He isn’t taking them away.
I wrote this down and instantly felt guilty for how self-centered it all sounded. Who am I to be asking God why something is happening? Yeah, so I haven’t been feeling great, but shouldn’t I be more grateful?
I thought the answers to both questions were clear:
I’m not supposed to ask God why - He is in control and by questioning it, I’m not trusting Him, right?
Yeah, I clearly should be more grateful! Just because I’m suffering now doesn’t mean I get to complain because God has done a lot for me and sitting in my sorrow means I’m not honoring him and being thankful.
While there’s some truth to these answers, a lot of this is just plain wrong. Reading it back, I realize how hard on myself I can be, just for the sake of hoping in doing so I’m “honoring” the Lord. My initial answers to these questions have no biblical backing - where did they even come from? When I couldn’t answer that, I knew I needed to find the Truth and the only place I could do that was in the Word.
Here’s what I’ve found so far:
1. It’s okay to ask God “why?” when you understand that an answer may not always be given.
This is not a new novel experience. Biblically, SO many people have asked God “why?” in the Bible and their questions almost always come from a place of pain, confusion, or both.
For example, here’s just a few I looked up in scripture:
Moses - “WHY have you dealt ill with your servant” Numbers 11:11
David - “WHY have you forgotten me? Why must I go about in sorrow because of the enemy’s oppression?” Psalm 42:9
Job - “WHY have you made me your target?” Job 7:20
Disciples - “WHY was this man born blind?” John 9:2
Jesus himself! - “My God, my God, WHY have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46
Moses, David, Job, the Disciples, and Jesus’ words remind us that there is nothing wrong with asking God “why?” It’s only human to want answers. However, just like all of them, we have to accept the honest truth - that God may not answer your “why?”
The reason for your circumstances, your pain, your hurt may never be written out for you and that’s okay because what God shows us through our “why?” is so much better.
2. There’s a better question to be asking instead of “why?”
There are still seasons of my life that I look back on and still don’t know why the difficult things that happened happened. But when I look back, I can always see how God was working in those seasons. Working on me, on my heart, and on my mind. Growing me in patience, in perseverance, and in precious moments of pain.
It’s taken me a while to realize that maybe the question to be asking God isn’t “why?” but “what?”
Instead of asking God “why?” questions like:
WHY is this happening to me?
WHY aren’t you taking this difficult situation, person, or feeling away?
WHY can’t I fix this?
We should be asking “what?” questions like:
WHAT do you want me to learn through this?
WHAT good can come from this?
WHAT testimony/knowledge will I have to share after I’ve been through this?
Asking “what?” puts control rightfully back into God’s hands, while asking “why?” questions His control and suggests it should be in our hands. Coming to Christ with “why?” assumes that we deserve an answer. Asking “what?” positions our hearts to be ready to learn more about God’s heart and willing to be transformed by whatever circumstance we’re facing.
Consider it great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.
James 1: 2-4
3. God will always reveal to you what he is doing through your situation because the answer will always point you back to Him.
When I’m in a difficult season or situation, the worst is the overwhelming sinking feeling of being stuck. Stuck in knowing what the best move is next and unsure of where to go from here when the answer is simple: go to Him.
Consider this verse:
The righteous cry out and the Lord hears and rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:17-18
Oftentimes, (at least for me) it feels like in our health struggles, in our strained relationships, in our difficulty with finding a job, in anything and everything else, that we are alone.
Dearest reader, please know you are never alone. Psalms 34 says “The Lord is near” and it IS true.
When you go to Him in your times of need, reader, he HEARS you and he CARES for you. In loving and putting your trust in Christ you can rest in the fact that He is with you to weather every storm. He hears your cries, he catches your tears, and promises to rescue you from your troubles.
4. Your suffering is temporary because He has promised that one day, all of your pain will be completely wiped away.
All of these points are extremely important, but this one is the champion.
Then I heard a loud voice from the throne: Look, God’s dwelling is with humanity, and he will live with them. They will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them and will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away.
Revelations 21: 3-4
What great peace we can have knowing that all of our pain and suffering will be gone when we meet with Christ in Heaven.
You might be thinking, “That’s great Shannan, but what about NOW? What about the suffering I’ve been experiencing now? I’m just supposed to wait to understand it and get relief until I’m dead?” Fair point.
It’s very possible that you might never know why the suffering is happening. By clinging to the “what” answers that God gives us and the truths they reveal about God’s character we are given hope. Hope that the suffering (whatever it is for you) won’t last forever, that the pain will end.
When you can keep the hope of God’s promise alive in your heart and mind every pain, trial, and trouble loses its power because it is temporary. He is eternal.
I don’t know why I’m experiencing so many health struggles when I was doing so well before. I don’t know why my friendships feel strained and more difficult than ever to maintain. I don’t know why my time with God feels so different.
What I do know is what God can do, who He is, and how much He loves me.
Phew, that was a lot, dear reader. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for sticking around. I hope you were able to find the meaning in my muddled thoughts and felt encouraged to reach out to God with your troubles. He is near, He cares, and He loves you.
Just remember, God is good all the time even when things take time.
Yours Truly,
